Anonymous asked: ALLLL THE COLORS :3
Oh motherfuck. Um. Alright…..
Purple: 1) It’s technically the living room since this house only has two and a half bedrooms, but it was converted into Jaina’s room. 2) It’s got a random piano in it pushed up against the wall. 3) I sleep on an inflatable mattress on the other side of the room from Jaina. 4) RIGHT NEXT TO ME, on the dresser drawer I sleep next to, there is a tank carrying a very large tarantula, and if I sit up in bed I am eye level with the fucking thing. 5) Clothes are piled up to human-sized proportionate piles. 6) It’s covered in Richard Roxburgh memorabilia because Jaina fangirls over the dude who played Dracula in fucking Van Helsing. 7) There’s about a million DVD’s on the shelves. 8) I have several boxes under the piano for comics storage and books. 9) I have books stacked up I haven’t gotten to reading yet. 10) There’s a tiny desk with Jaina’s PC on it in case the laptop in the kitchen is in use.
Blue: 1) I guess technically I’m part of the Belbin family now, as they tell people at Walmart I’m their son. 2) If that’s the case I currently want to slap my younger brother until tears stream down his face. 3) My real dad is on his third marriage, to my step-mother Ann. 4) I’m the only child of my biological mother, Michael and Jonathan my two older brothers are by my dad’s first wife and my step-sister Erica is Ann’s daughter. 5) My oldest brother Jonathan is a schizophrenic and former transvestite who killed my mom when I was little. 6) He also beat me routinely. 7) My brother Michael is a piece of shit and we have a rocky relationship. 8) I’m the only one of my dad’s kids that hasn’t been in jail, barely though. 9) I also accumulate extended family, like Lexi, Katie, Adam, Ashley and a few others as my new brothers and sisters. It helps to have family that support you instead of lecture you and talk shit.
Green: 1) I’m fat. 2) I’m hairy. 3) I am 5’10 and a fucking half an inch. 4) I sadly wear a size 46 waist in pants. 5) I wear a size 10 1/2 wide in shoes. I’d REALLY like to get away from that number in height and shoe size. 6) Physically I’m like a clone of my father, I’ve got his exact facial structure minus about 30 years, and I’ve gradually assumed his body shape, we look exactly alike except I have my mother’s brown hair/brown eyes and my dad’s hair is blonde and his eyes are blue. 7) I have tiny hands for someone my size. 8) I have massive guns, wapow!
Yellow: 1) When we first moved out to the country my dad hit an owl with his truck so we kept him in a little pen and fed him while his wing healed and then released him back into the wild and it was the coolest thing ever when I was a kid to actually pet a wounded owl, he was nice. 2) We have had eight dogs at my dad’s house and a total of seven cats, a litter of like five hamsters (that the cat ate), three koi fish, and a henhouse full of chickens and one mean-ass rooster. I HATED that fucking rooster. 3) My mom used to take us from drives three hours away into the mountains sometimes to visit family and I remember how pretty I always thought the mountains were. 4) My mother taught me how to read by sitting down with me and reading SOMETHING every night, didn’t matter if it was a comic book, the Bible, a Dr. Seuss book, one of her novels, something. 5) When mom died and dad had to work random hours, I was raised by Michael pretty much. 6) The first comic book I ever read was bought for me at a flea market, it was Avengers # 287 and it is still one of my favorite comics. 7) I used to be afraid of the woods behind our house because my brother convinced me there was a monster like the things we saw on Unsolved Mysteries back there.
Orange: 1) Mechanicsville Virginia is a shithole of a town 20 minutes outside of the capital city of Richmond. 2) It’s basically all suburb and fancy strip malls now. 3) It didn’t start growing until about the year 2000 when they put in the Walmart. 4) It’s actually the site of TWO major Civil Wars battles, the Battle of Cold Harbor and the Seven Day’s Battle, and the area for miles around is filled with graves, historical sites and houses the Confederacy stayed in and landmarks, for example five miles around my father’s house is all one big battlefield. 5) Because of that, I know a lot of people near the battlefields that report paranormal occurrences either in their house or out on the fields, including the house I live in now. I’ve heard some creepy shit. 6) Mechanicsville is populated largely by drunk, stupid rednecks, idiotic teenagers and all around ignoramuses. And girls that like to use people to score drugs and alcohol.
Red: 1) I have several best friends, and they all mean a lot to me. 2) Adam is my longest-running best friend, he’s pretty much my brother, and even though we don’t agree at all on politics or morals, I’ve known him since seventh grade and we’ve been through a lot. 3) Lexi is close to me like a sister, I’ve known her since about 2010, and I miss going over her house and bringing beer so we could watch Netflix and get smashed on Blue Moon and have the awesomest talks. 4) Fred is probably my twin in spirit and he’s the most like me, he’s gone through so much stuff that’s similar to what I have and he’s still a really funny guy. 5) James and Katie are my long distance Tumblr best friends, James is definitely my broski, it’s been fun getting him hooked on comics and wrestling, and Katie is someone I always love talking to because we share a similar sense of humor. They’re inspiring because their relationship has overcome a lot and they’ve made it work and I’m proud of them.
Pink: 1) My father is gonna be 61 years old this year and if that’s not the most dating, depressing shit ever I dunno what is. 2) My mother was a registered nurse before she became an aftercare patient specialist who went to people’s houses for checkups after they were released from the hospital. 3) My mother named me after one of her patients who died from cancer, Bryan. 4) My father can’t lift his right arm above shoulder height and can’t lift more than 15 pounds with his right arm because my brother shot him and there’s still bullet fragments in the bone, his right arm is mostly useless.
White: 1) I’m self-deprecating to a fault, I make fun of myself sometimes because I believe that people are gonna do it anyway. 2) I have the worst temper, because I get so impatient when things move slow, make loud noise or put stress upon me that it builds up. 3) I don’t really know how to relate to people normally.
Grey: 1) I’ve been reading comics just about as long as I could read, and Thor is my favorite superhero. 2) I have beaten every Legend of Zelda game except for Phantom Hourglass and Spirit Tracks now.
Black: I don’t know if I’m emotionally capable, or if anybody is ready in any respect to love me and I’m terrified that the people who are attracted to me don’t mean it or will get tired of me so I’m 100% certain that I don’t like anybody because who would, who COULD like someone like me back?
That’s all you need to know about me. Also, fuck your face for making me write this. D: